My Blog Posts:

Am I Crazy?

This is a question that I have to actually ask. Am I crazy or is this my anxiety and stress just kicking in again? Don’t understand why I am saying … then let me explain.

Right now I am in the middle of applying to get access to the NDIS (National Disability Insurance Scheme). It is a program that helps people with disabilities and mental health issues. So as part of this process, my doctor had to do her report, simple and easy enough. My counsellor had to do a report (which I picked up on Friday), which we will get into in a bit. And also the program that I am currently in has also written a letter of support. Again, which I will get into shortly.

After reading through the report from my counsellor and also the letter of support from my current accommodation provider I swear they are trying to make out that I am worse and crazier then what I already am. Like, yes I know I have issues but serious some parts of these reports are just for me, to be honest, too much to even read. And I am going to quote parts of these reports.

Now the following quotes are from my current accommodation provider:

[Removed providers name] has also noted Zac less frequent movements into the community in which he avoids social contact due to his plethora of complex mental and physical health issues.

Zac has been linked in with support services to assist with his mental health diagnosis of bipolar disorders, PTSD and severe anxiety as well as previous suicidal ideations.

… saw him mix with individuals that didn’t have his interest at heart and he became involved with using a variety of drug substances.

Well, we all know I have attempted suicide in the past, but not for a number of years now and why would I need a government department to know about that? We also already know that my anxiety causes me issues within the community so I don’t go out unless I have an appt. that I need to go too. But why do they need to know that? Like seriously?

Why the hell do they also need to know that I used to use drugs, that is none of their business, nor does it even affect the amount of help that can be provided under the NDIS. This report then basically then goes on to say that without the NDIS I WILL become homeless again and my mental health will be worse off. Well hello, anyone on the streets has issues with their mental health. I have more issues then that to worry about with my other health issues it will kill me, and the Doctors have made that perfectly clear.

On to the report from my counsellor:

Well, this report pretty much goes over must of the stuff above as well. But also goes into some details about my childhood, what happened to me, what lead to me being on the streets and a lot of things that happened to me and that I had to do to survive whilst living decades as a rough sleeper.

But then it goes on to say that basically, I can’t do the basic of things without help. Like really? I might have spent decades on the streets, but I am not a fucking dummy either. And that is how I feel these reports are portraying me. And it is stressing me the fuck out as I am supposed to submit these documents tomorrow and I don’t know if I want to anymore. It is all just a bit much right now.

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