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It Happens Again …

So this morning I spoke to my mum briefly, then went and laid down for most of the day as I haven’t been feeling well. As most people know I have a lot of issues currently going on with my health.

When I wake this afternoon I notice something strange on Facebook. Then it turns out that my mum has blocked me, AGAIN. I can not keep going through this. Again, I need to go around and remove her as my Next of Kin, as obviously there is something going on again and she isn’t prepared to talk to me about it.

I have sent her 2 text messages and got no reply so that tells me everything I need to know. So this time I am done, I am not going to reach out anymore. I just can’t do it. Right now I am too emotional again as I have lost my mum again, even after she said, again, it wouldn’t happen, but it has and I don’t understand why.

Well, another thing to talk to my counselor about now. But I don’t see her for nearly 3 weeks now. So be a bit of bottling things up until I see her again. Thank goodness I have my blog where I can still get my thoughts and feelings out.

I do believe I know what this is over, but it is nothing to block your son over after your just started communicating again a couple of months ago … Oh well, I should have known. At least I know now exactly where I stand and I am not going to fall for it again, nor am I going to put myself through this again.

Right now I am having thoughts of doing something very stupid, but I won’t as I know there are actually a few people out there who are friends that actually do care. And they don’t treat me like shit.

All I can say is thank you for the good times we have shared over the last couple of months, I will have you removed as my NOK next time I visit the hospital and my Doctors, and will email my Caseworkers after I post this informing them to remove your details from my case file. As obviously you wouldn’t want to know if and when things happen to me anymore … as I said AGAIN … And also as I said I shouldn’t be surprised. But I am … But now I am done. All I know is I just can’t go through this again … not the 3rd or 4th time that it now is.

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